January 15th, 2010
There have been certain events that I have experienced throughout my life that make me believe that astrology is not just a supernatural hoax. I read my horoscope online everyday, and more often than not, my horoscope is accurate to some level.
I know a lot of people who check their current horoscopes daily in the news paper. Many now receive free daily horoscopes online, but I also know some people who pay to have their complete horoscope determined everyday. Though I would never consider paying for my horoscope, they swear that a complete horoscope is always almost completely accurate.
For many of us, we are quick to dismiss or shoot down anything that doesn’t have to do with us or is in some way negative to us. However, when we receive good news, strangely enough, we are uplifted that there may be a possibility of something good happening to us.
This is most likely due to the fact that human nature makes us embrace any news of positive or good new, but we deny or disregard bad or negative news. Whatever the reasons, we have become a society that is fascinated by horoscopes, star signs, and star charts.
I have friends that who will readily admit that when ever they get into a new relationship; they spend hours consulting their horoscope, star charts, and the heavens to determine their compatibility.
Determining compatibility based on star signs is helps to reassure people that they have compatibility in their relationship and that things might work out positively because Mr. or Mrs. Right has a compatibility with their star sign. These people will then research as much as they possibly can about their compatibility, including the person’s faults, life goals, dislikes, personality, and even their long term health probability.
Though it may sound strange, these people are not a minority. There are tens of thousands of people who will openly admit that their horoscope is a major part of any decision they make. Humans have been looking to the stars for thousands of years to foresee the future, from the ancient cultures as diverse as the Greeks, Babylonians, and Aztecs, to present day cultures such as the Chinese and even our own.
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May 21st, 2009
Everyone is meditating on something all the time. If you want a clue as to what people are spending most of their time meditating on then look at the circumstances and content of their lives. Most humans meditate on acquiring power (money, reputation), sex (do I need to give an example here?) food and consumption (acquiring whatever person, place, or thing you “need” to make your life comfortable and “happy”). There is nothing wrong with meditating on acquiring these things (we must live our lives) they just don’t make you happy. Since a genuinely happy person is almost as rare as an honest politician then we can conclude that most people do not meditate on what makes them happy.
But Paul, I’m happy, and I have lots of friends that are happy. Don’t be a buzz-kill!
Right. I’ll define what I mean by happy. True happiness is not affected by the positive or negative conditions of ones life. How happy can you be if in the back of your mind you know that your happiness can be snatched from you in a moment? By happy I mean content and blissful despite your circumstances.
Consider this, most people are happy only when the conditions of their lives present themselves as positive. Let’s take the fictional character Bob. Bob’s happy. It’s a nice sunny day, his rent is paid, he’s surrounded with friends and family he loves and Bob anticipates a bright and happy future. Bob’s happiness is the result of positive conditions. The next day is partly cloudy, Bob learns that someone ran over his pet, and that work is “rightsizing” his job oversees. Bob’s inner condition starts to darken and Bob doesn’t feel so happy. The next day dark and ominous clouds have blotted out the sun. Bob learns that the love of his life betrayed his trust. Bob is crushed. The stormy winds of emotion tear through Bob’s mind and his experience of life is a living hell. The conditions of Bob’s life now present themselves as negative. Indeed, Bob is being tossed around in the stormy ocean of life experience. His happiness is fleeting and is being dictated to him by forces beyond his control.
A genuinely happy person is one who is happy in good times and happy in bad times. These people are not affected by the wild pinball ups and downs of life because their happiness does not derive from the world.
Pop Quiz:
Q: Why would one want to learn how to meditate?
A: To learn how to derive happiness from a source that is always happy, bright and powerful (i.e. not the world).
I’ll be honest; to be happy in this crazy world is exceedingly difficult. Even amongst the affluent and privileged, one only has to scratch a little below the surface of their social personalities to see that they are as full of fear, sorrow and anger as any one else. Almost no one is immune. I say almost because some people have figured out how to be genuinely happy. These people are rare but if you truly want to be happy then it would be worth your while to find out what these people know and make yourself available to what they have to teach you.
My teacher once told me, “It’s hard to be happy, but isn’t it harder to be unhappy?”
Namaste
At the age of 15 Paul had a deeply moving experience that left no doubt of the existence of God as an Omnipresent and Omnipotent force of Love. He became a Buddhist monk 13 years ago when he met his teacher. He now teaches meditation classes in San Francisco and the Bay Area.
http://pacificharborbeacon.org
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May 21st, 2009
As part of the Australian government’s initiative to encourage economic growth and manage shortages in skilled labour supply issues in the Australian economy, over 45,000 places have been made available under the General Skilled Migration Stream this year.
**Basic Requirements**
To gain entry under the skilled migration programme, applicants should meet the basic requirements listed below :
Age - You must be under 45 years of age when you apply
Qualifications - You should have either a university degree, diploma or trade certificate and your qualifications must be assessed by the relevant assessing authority prior to your migration visa application.
English Language - Ability to speak / write the english language to at least vocational level.
Occupation - Your nominated occupation must be one of those identified as being in demand and listed on either the SOL ( Skilled Occupation List ) or the MODL ( Migration Occupations in Demand List ).
Recent Work Experience - Generally, applicants need to show that they have at least 12 months appropriate work experience in the past 18 months or 24 months experience in the past 36 months. However if you have recently completed a course of study in Australia then you will be exempt from this requirement.
Character - You have to be judged as being of good character. If you have a substantial or serious criminal record then it is likely that you will be refused.
**General Skilled Visa Categories**
Skilled Independent - This visa is aimed at applicants who do not have a sponsor or choose not to be sponsored. Applicants must meet the basic requirements and also pass the points test.
Skilled Independent Regional ( Provisional ) - This visa is aimed at applicants who do not pass the normal skilled independent points test but are willing to settle in a designated regional or low population area for up to 3 years. The visa is temporary and valid for 3 years. Applicants can apply for permanent residency after 2 years.
Skilled State Territory Nominated Independent - This category is for people who are highly skilled and have education, skills and employability which will contribute to the Australian economy, and are willing to settle in States and Territories where their skills are in demand. To apply for this category you must meet the basic requirements and meet the pool mark for the Skilled-Independent category; and be nominated by a participating State or Territory.
Skill Matching - This category is not points tested however applicants must meet the basic requirements listed above. Applicants details are held in a database and made available to Australian employeers who may then nominate an applicant for migration. Applicants details are held on the database for 2 years.
Skilled Designated Area Sponsored - This category is for people who have skills and have a relative living in a designated area of Australia who is willing to sponsor them. You must also have an financial assurer, who can be the same person as a your sponsor. There is no points test for this visa category but applicants must meet the basic requirements listed above.
Skilled Australian Sponsored - This visa is suitable for skilled applicants who have a close relative that is either a permanent resident or citizen. Either you or your spouse must be related to the sponsor. Applicants must meet the basic requirements and also pass the points test. You must also have an financial assurer, who can be the same person as a your sponsor. Applicants must nominate a skilled occupation from the Skilled Occupations List or the Sydney and Selected Areas Skilled Shortage List ( if your sponsor lives in Sydney, Gosford, Newcastle or Wollongong );
**Get your application right first time!**
Australian migration regulations are complex and providing the necessary documentation and meeting the requirements can be very demanding. For these reasons we recommend that you consult a registered migration agent who can help you get your application right the first time and help you avoid additional time and money in reapplying.
Darrell Todd runs thinkingaustralia.com [link: www.thinkingaustralia.com] a full migration service for those looking to migrate to Australia. He offers “free migration assessments” [link: www.thinkingaustralia.com/migration ].
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May 2nd, 2009
“[Love] keeps no records of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5b NIV).
When we love we feel wonderful. Remember when you were “in love?” I do. It was such a creative and growing time. Then I got married and started keeping records. Bad!
In a booklet I wrote, Why Stay Married, I suggested ten commandments for keeping one’s union intact:
1. List your spouse’s good points only.
2. List your own negative contributions to the marriage.
3. Read God’s word together, if at all possible. If your spouse will not join you in daily devotionals, then read and pray privately. Daily reading: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
4. Use your creative imagination to see yourself as loving your spouse. The moment a bad thought or image enters, pray to the Holy Spirit. And get busy!
5. Don’t have the last word. Let God’s Word be the last word–to yourself. If need be, write a rational and caring note during those times when you can’t verbally communicate.
6. Forgive, as God has already forgiven us all.
7. Give thanks often to God for this person, and then give thanks to the person.
8. Don’t discuss marital problems with “sympathetic” friends who you know thought the marriage to be a big mistake anyway. This can be the death knell.
9. Be grateful for this set of circumstances and see in this situation the opportunity for spiritual growth.
10. Make the first move, with whatever words are necessary. You can simply say, “I’m sorry,” or “Please forgive me.” Sometimes it works!
In the booklet I write about the IOU’s–the records of wrongs–we accumulate and stuff in a drawer and pull out during our stress times. Instead of keeping track of our spouse’s IOU’s, we might try putting our own into the empty space: IOU for taking on the responsibility of a family; IOU for loving me enough to overlook my moods; IOU for letting me pursue my hobbies without question; IOU for absorbing financial burdens; IOU for being willing to stay home alone when I go on trips; IOU for being kind enough to leave me alone when I need that aloneness. Remember, love is taking the ious out of contentious and finally being content!
Believe me, the longer we love, the longer we live.
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April 3rd, 2009
Throughout history, meditation has been an integral part of many cultures. Records indicate that meditation was practiced in ancient Greece and India more than 5,000 years ago. In the Buddhist religion, meditation is an important part of their spiritual practice. Different forms of meditation are practiced in China and Japan, and Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have traditions similar to meditation. The word meditation comes from the Latin ‘meditari’ which means: exercise, turn something over in one’s mind, think, consider. It is defined as “consciously directing your attention to alter your state of mind.”
Meditation is one of the proven alternative therapies that in recent years have been classified under the mind-body medicine therapies. It is continuing to gain popularity, as more and more health experts believe that there is more to the connection between mind and body than modern medicine can explain. Meditation has been shown to aid the immune system and improve brain activity, according to researchers. More and more doctors are prescribing meditation as a way to lower blood pressure, improve exercise performance, for people with angina, to help people with asthma to breathe easier, to relieve insomnia, and generally relax everyday stresses of life. Many hospitals now offer meditation classes for their patients because of the health benefits. All promote physiological health and well-being.
Traditionally meditation has been used for spiritual growth but more recently has become a valuable tool for managing stress and finding a place of peace, relaxation, and tranquility in a demanding fast-paced world. Benefits resulting from meditation include: physical and emotional healing; easing stress, fear, and grief; improved breathing; developing intuition; deep relaxation; exploring higher realities; finding inner guidance; unlocking creativity; manifesting change; emotional cleansing and balancing; and deepening concentration and insight.
Meditation elicits many descriptive terms: stillness, silence, tranquility, peace, quiet, and calm. All counter stress and tension. Lama Surya Das in his book Awakening The Buddha Within says, “Meditation is not just something to do; it’s a method of being and seeing - an unconditional way of living moment by moment.” In other words, learning to live in this moment because this moment is all we have. Henry Winkler is quoted as saying; “A human being’s first responsibility is to shake hands with himself.” Meditation is an opportunity to ’shake hands with ourselves’ in a safe, simple way and to balance our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Meditation takes many forms in today’s society. All have one thing in common. They use concentration techniques to still the mind and stop thought. Various practices exist such as chanting (Mantra), focusing on energy centres in the body (Chakra Meditation), breathing, mindfulness (Mahamudra), loving kindness, formal sitting (Vipassana), expressive practices (Siddha Yoga), and walking to name some of the styles. Try each style and see what works for you or you may want to alternate between the techniques from time to time. For the purposes of this article, I will discuss Mahamudra and walking meditation.
Practical Steps To Begin Meditating
1. Find a place where there are few external distractions. A place where you feel emotionally comfortable, safe, removed from pressure and stress is the optimal location.
2. Wear clothing that is loose and sit or lie in a comfortable position.
3. Plan to meditate in an area that is warm and comfortable. You might want to have a blanket or light covering as some people experience a feeling of coolness when they aren’t moving around for a period of time.
4. Candles can be used to focus attention on the task at hand. If you use them, remember to be cautious and extinguish them before leaving the room.
5. Relaxation is a key component of meditation. Take a few moments to bring about a state of relaxation by taking a deep breath through your nose, expanding your lungs and diaphragm. Hold the breath for a few seconds and slowly exhale through your mouth. Do this several times until you feel relaxed.
6. Calm, soothing music can be helpful for inducing a state of tranquillity and relaxation
7. If you are hungry, have a little something to eat, as it is not necessary to meditate on a completely empty stomach.
8. Put your expectations aside and don’t worry about doing it right.
Meditation
Mahamudra is the form of meditation that is a way of going about one’s daily activities in a state of mindfulness. It is meditation integrated into all aspects of our lives. This following exercise is one you can do anywhere to create a feeling of inner peace. It is particularly helpful for those times you are stuck in traffic, waiting in line at the grocery store or bank, at the office when days are hectic, or when you are picking up the kids from school or extra-curricular activities. “What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it,” wrote Hugh Mulligan. Meditation helps us remember to stop and ’smell the daisies.’
Begin by taking a deep breath. Breathe deeply and as you do expand your lungs and your diaphragm. Hold the breath for a few seconds and slowly exhale through the mouth. Focus on your breath and clear your mind. Do this several times until you feel the slowing of your breath and a deep sense of peace fill your body. Consciously feel the peace permeate your body. Drop your shoulders and connect through the top of your head to the Universal Energy. Repeat. If you wish, send peace to those around you by connecting to their hearts with light and love.
Walking Meditation
A walking meditation is simply an exercise in awareness. There are four components:
become aware of your breathing,
notice your surroundings,
be attentive to your body’s movement, and
take some time to reflect on your experience when you return home.
To practice ‘awareness walking’ bring awareness to walking wherever you find yourself. Take notice of your breathing. Are you taking short, shallow breaths without even knowing it? If so, take several deep breaths and centre yourself in your body and in the present moment. Appreciate the wonderful body you have and the blessing of being able to walk.
Notice your surroundings. What season is it? Take a few minutes to listen to the noises around you. Feel the wind, sun, fog, rain or snow on your face. Look at the people, animals, birds, sky, trees, and buildings around you. Breathe in and out and realise that you are an integral part of the environment.
Pay attention to your body. Are you holding tension in your shoulders, neck, solar plexus, lower back, or legs? Breath into any areas where you are feeling tension and let it drain into the Earth. Next, pay attention to your posture. Are you standing straight and tall or slouching? Walk in a way that is comfortable for you with your body loose and uplifted. Walk with dignity and confidence, one foot in front of the other and pay attention to the experience of movement. You can walk mindfully anywhere, along a sidewalk, walking your dog, in the mall, along the hallways at work. You simply remind yourself to be in this moment, taking each step as it comes. Some people find it helpful to repeat a mantra (mantras are sacred words repeated in order to bring focus to your mind). You can also use a variation on the walking mantra by counting your breaths. Walk more slowly than you usually do and count how many steps it takes for your intake of breath and how many steps for your exhale. In this type of meditation, your attention is focused on both your steps and your breathing bringing together a wonderful balance of peacefulness and awareness.
Take some time to reflect on your experience when you return home. Five or ten minutes brings closure to your walk and provides an opportunity to make the transition from this ‘place of peace’ to ordinary day-to-day activities.
Gwen Nyhus Stewart, B.S.W., M.G., H.T., is an educator, freelance writer, garden consultant, and author of the book The Healing Garden: A Place Of Peace - Gardening For The Soil, Gardening For The Soul. She owns the website Gwen’s Healing Garden where you will find lots of free information about gardening for the soil and gardening for the soul. To find out more about the book and subscribe to her free Newsletter visit http://www.gwenshealinggarden.ca
Gwen Nyhus Stewart © 2004 - 2005. All rights reserved.
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March 27th, 2009
“We are responsible for everything in our lives, including how the chemistry in our bodies works or doesn’t work.” Wayne Dyer’s words hit me like a bolt of lightening as I listened to his taped book, You’ll See It When You Believe It.
Throughout the years, I had suffered tremendously with bouts of allergies and asthma; it wasn’t until that moment that I had a confirmation I could eliminate my allergy problems. The asthma attacks had been under control since leaving the mid west where I was born and raised. This move eliminated contact with cattle hair and grain dust and other pollens indigenous to the area, which I had extreme allergic reactions with.
I often spoke, to anyone who would listen, about how the mind heals the body or allows the body to become ill. This knowledge was based on my thoughts, reading and research. As I spoke about my ‘belief/knowledge’ my bouts with allergies hung heavy in my mind. In all of my reading, nothing clicked as a solution until that moment in September 1989. I was 47 years old. As I had learned while studying transactional analysis, Dr. Dyer, also, held the premise: “We are responsible for everything in our lives.” “OK, Wayne,” I said, “I agree. Now what? How can I take responsibility for the chemistry in my body when my immune system is damaged? My immune system contains chemicals,” I reminded myself. “I am responsible for those chemicals doing their job. What am I doing or not doing that is responsible for the chemicals not doing their job?” I asked myself fervently.
A few days later I began, in earnest, to be a detective. I revisited myself as an infant in the crib. With much satisfaction and pride, my father has told the story that he knew how to quiet a howling infant. With his hand, big and muscular from working as a cattle rancher, he ‘patted my back with three or four hard, quick pats, ‘You,’ he proudly announced, ’stopped howling. You seemed to like it,’ he concluded, ‘because you always stopped howling.’
My father was physically abused as a child, and he carried the legacy into his parenting. He did not consider the ‘hard quick pats’ on my tiny back as abusive, nor would anyone necessarily consider either of us as abused at the time of our upbringings; some people would not consider it abuse today. In the days of my father’s childhood, and those of my own, this type of behavior with a child was viewed as stringent discipline for a child obviously needing corrective action. However, with certainty, my abuse began when I was an infant in the bassinet. As I revisited my infancy and childhood, no new memories came forth. This was frustrating. I had not found any new clues. “Chemicals. I am responsible for my chemicals. How can I take responsibility for those chemicals?” The answer seemed elusive, but I was determined. “Chemicals? What mechanism triggers the release of my chemicals?”
“Ye gads! The brain. The brain sends messages to all systems in the body. The portion of the brain that controls the chemicals is often called ‘the old brain’: it is the ‘fight-flight’ mechanism that instantaneously (no need for conscious command) sends chemicals so the system can ‘fight or flee.’
“So what has that got to do with allergies?” I asked myself. “Allergies, allergies, allergy attack,allergy attack-am I getting somewhere? I am being attacked by pollen-so? What is the link between allergy attacks and being an abused child? Allergy attack-allergy attack.” Days and weeks passed. I repeatedly mulled the thought, “Allergy attack, child abuse, allergy attack, child abuse: there is a link. I know there is a link. What is the link?”
When the human system is attacked by something, the immune system
instantaneously sends chemicals to fight the invasion. “My system is damaged
since being frightened as an infant,” I lamented. “What can I do now? I am
responsible for the chemicals in my body,” I reminded myself. “How do I make a
system work that has been damaged? If my brain controls the chemicals and
my thoughts control my brain, I can control those chemicals. Nevertheless,
how can I control thechemicals? The link-where is the link?”
I began thinking about the incidents of physical abuse. I saw my father’s menacing figure coming at me-face red, hand raised,swearing and shouting. Whack, his large hand hit the side of my head. ATTACK! My father attached me verbally and physically. There is the link! Allergy attack’s verbal/physical attack. The two had emerged in my psyche as the same.
To understand the physiological and psychological construct, one needs to accept the reality that the physical body and psyche are intertwined. One is not separate from the other. To understand the emergence of allergy attacks with verbal or physical attacks in my psyche, we need to discern my experience as an infant in the bassinet. The five senses: hearing, sight, smell, taste, and touch-are an infant’s only means of understanding their world and communicating. Three of the five senses are activated by the technique such as my father’s to quiet a howling infant:
The infant hears the father’s footsteps and, in the first instance, assumes that someone is coming to comfort her. The father says, ‘Be quiet [shutup];’ in a loud voice-the impact of a hard, quick pat is registered (touch). The shock of the loud voice (hearing) and hard pat (touch) is reacted to by a restriction in crying (breathing)-breathing and smell are associated. The shock of the loud voice and physical impact has knocked the breath from the infant. When the infant’s autonomic system reactivates breathing, the infant breathes in the smell of cattle hair and grain odor, which permeates the father’s clothes. In many instances, the mother responds to the crying infant;however, the infant is unable to distinguish when the mother or father will respond. Therefore, the infant soon recognizes the footsteps of the father, but has no way to escape. Her fight and flight mechanism is, no doubt, triggered,and chemicals surge through her body requiring additional oxygen as her heartrate and breathing increase. As she attempts to bring in oxygen, she simultaneously constricts her crying; the two conflict with each other. This causes swelling in the bronchial system, which is how asthma is manifested-restricted bronchial passage.
Not withstanding, humans have evolved with immunities to the elements that are common to the environment. With rare exceptions, the human immune system, as a chemically functioning system, is adequate to protect the organism. In an experience such as mine, the infant’s psyche is being imprinted through three of the five senses. This leaves a powerful impact. As in my case, cattle hair and grain odors are associated with fear and not being able to breathe. Thus, my asthma/allergies became a physical reaction to fear, distress and the sensation associated with any strong smells. I remember experiencing asthma attacks when I was anticipating a stressful situation involving my father or if he verbally attacked me. Through listening to my past feelings and watching my reactions, I accepted the reality that my immune system had been damaged. The doctors also told me my immune system was ineffective, but they blamed it on a fact of genetics fluke,something I had to accept. I dutifully accepted my fate; after all, doctors know the human body and are healers-they know best. The next step, I began observing my physical reactions whenever I started having allergic reactions.
“What did I tell myself-what did I tell my brain? My brain has the power to send chemicals to my immune system. Why weren’t my chemicals there when I needed them?” I observed and observed. One day I noticed a very subtle body sensation, so subtle that I hardly noticed its presence. The body sensation was so faint and so far away. I barely captured it. “What was the origin of this faint sensation? Listen carefully, listen, observe, listen. Yes, yes, there it is: Shut down, shutdown, do not move, do not think, do not feel, do not react, you cannot do anything, shutdown.’” My heartbeat seemed so still. It was very faint. I took my pulse and had a hard time finding it. “How is that connected to my chemicals? How is that connected to my immune chemicals not being sent?” More listening, more observing.
Ye gads! The thought came into my mind. My fight-flight command was not being activated. Instead, I was telling my fight-flight system to shut down. WHAT? The fight-flight mechanism is fundamental to the survival of the system I was telling mine to shut down. My mind then wandered back to the incident when my father attempted to chase me with the horse. I realized that was a time in which I shut my fight-flight system down more than it had ever been shut down. “Do not move, do not move, do not think, do not feel, do not react, you cannot do anything, shut down.” My heart stood still as the horse jolted to a stop in front of me, his hot breath blowing in my face. From that point on, I remember not feeling the pain when my father hit me. I was completely shut down.
As the days passed, I continued to listen to and observe my breathing. As I observed, I became aware that I became passive when a sneeze was an allergic sneeze. The thought was, “There is nothing you can do, the pollen attacks and you are in a lot of pain and feel sick and can hardly function, but it only lasts a short time. Withstand the pain-keep going, it will pass.” As a child, I could not fight or flee. Emotionally, to survive the verbal and physical attacks, I became passive by telling myself, “The best course of action is to do nothing.” This thought process subconsciously blocked the transference of survival chemicals to protect my system from danger. When the chemicals were sent, I could feel the bone-chilling pain before and after the assault. I did not like this chilling pain and, therefore, instructed myself to shut down.
Eureka, the final link! I had trained my brain to stop sending the fundamental fight-flight chemicals used to protect the system. No wonder the doctor gave me adrenaline shots when my natural chemicals did not work. Adrenaline is the major chemical the immune system sends to fight or flee. The next step was to monitor the messages I gave myself when I sneezed. The pattern was consistent-I became very passive, I could feel my senses shut down. All my muscles relaxed, no outward emotion. Nothing! I listened, observed and listened. After many years of telling my brain to shut down, learning to fight back was not easy. It was so natural to shut down. Nevertheless, I listened and every time I felt myself shut down, I gave a command to fight back. I visualized the chemicals rushing into the blood stream and throughout my body. I practiced and practiced. Gradually, I noticed a difference in the severity and the duration of allergy attacks. Spring 1990 arrived (a usually difficult season, as I was allergic to tree and grass pollens): no sneezing, no watery eyes, no coughing. Eureka! I did it. I did it! This was and remains a physical and psychological victory with extensive implications. I wanted to shout from the rooftops. I wanted to tell everyone.
With each passing pollen season, I have been increasingly allergy-free. For three years, it was necessary that I consciously made the effort to ‘remind’ myself to fight back. I do not need to have total concentration anymore. In addition, if I have allergic reactions to manufactured elements, I do not hold myself responsible for generating the immune system to fight back. This is due to the fact that the immune system protects the system from natural elements; if I held myself responsible for eliminating all allergic reactions, I could set up unrealistic demands and constitute an unrealistic psychological failure as well.
A note of caution for anyone who may think I have described this process as simple and easy: it was very difficult and took total concentration. During the beginning stage of recovery, any distractions resulted in reduction in concentration as well as reduction in effectiveness. This was discouraging at times and I heard myself saying, “See you cannot really change this damage, you are not as good as you think you are.” This was an example of all the negating and demoralizing things my father said tome. It occurred to me, I was allowing his words to control what I could or could not accomplish today, and I became even more determined.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing for Individuals, Special Issues and Professional Coaching. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.gen-assist.com
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March 16th, 2009
A number of years ago I worked for one of the UK’s top IT companies — a global player. We were meeting to discuss a major bid, and the room was filled with people who didn’t meet often — the most senior managers from a number of divisions. There were very few middle tier managers in the room, almost exclusively senior managers who were accustomed to being ‘top dog’. The atmosphere in that room was almost tangible. I wanted to bottle the air and analyse it later — I had never experienced such naked power, and it dawned on me in that moment that we are almost blind to the status signals we transmit.
That meeting was an epiphany, and led to me becoming a hypnotherapist with a particular interest in researching confidence and self esteem. Because what I discovered in that company, and in many companies I have assisted subsequently, was the startling fact that an individual’s self-esteem is a reliable indicator of how far they will progress in the organisation. Some technical geniuses can buck the trend, but they are very rare. For most of us, our ability to influence decision-making is precisely limited by our self esteem.
Why does this matter? It matters because the person with the greatest self esteem is not necessarily the right person to be making the key decisions. We have all suffered foolish bosses. Perhaps we have all wondered how on earth they reached such positions of seniority, given their obvious shortcomings. If you will excuse the bluntness: that incompetent boss is there because you haven’t yet been sufficiently convincing. Your performance is perhaps the least important aspect on which you will be judged; what matters is your status in the group.
Status is a fascinating topic. We communicate our status constantly, primarily through body language and voice tone. This communication is unconscious; it is felt rather than known or consciously controlled. The way in which you behave reflects your self perception of status. This is either accepted or challenged by the people around you. A dominant person (relative to you) will cause you to back off from a challenge. A submissive person (again, relative to your own status) will make it easy for you to project your will. For a fuller discussion of this topic, please visit http://www.confidenceclub.net/content/statusconfidence.php.
And so we come to the nub. We should all seek to develop our self esteem, not because of the personal benefits which will flow from this personal growth — career enhancement, improved love life etc — but because we have a duty to ourselves and our communities. Until and unless we step up to the plate, our communities will remain vulnerable to an almost random process of leader selection. So ask yourself: ‘Am I allowing less talented people to make decisions on my behalf?’ If the answer is ‘yes’, then perhaps you should consider stepping up to the plate yourself. The first step in this process is building up your own self confidence and self esteem. Don’t be bashful; there’s nothing selfish about developing your own qualities. A community with a rich selection of potential leaders is, in my view, a secure community.
Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence development and stress management. He may be contacted via his Confidence Club website http://www.confidenceclub.net
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March 4th, 2009
I believe the spirit of man, rather than being something ethereal we possess, is the life force within us. From a scientific standpoint, it is the force that actuates our mind and body and all the billions of cells to interact in a symphonic harmony we call life.
Like the fire burning on a match, as long as there is fuel and oxygen there is life. So to with us, as long as there is spirit sustained by breathing, we keep living. As a match running out of fuel into the mere glow of the final flicker of a flame, so too, the spirit or life force comes to an end.
But that is merely the end of the force that actuates the whole of the biological organism that we call alive. There are never flat lines as TV would have us believe. There is always a transient beat of the heart, twitch of a muscle, rarely a patient might sit up. What ever may come to be, the life force that made the patient a person is no more. It comes to an end.
Life doesn’t completely come to an end however. The heart continues to live although absent of spirit, if for only a few hours. Placed in someone with a strong spirit but defective parts, it is assimilated to become part of the collective of an entirely different spirit. The liver has life for several hours.
The cornea of our eyes continues ready for life, in another host for 1 week. That is unless you live in a third world country where they are considered viable for 2 weeks.
This miraculous thing we call life, within the cells of that organ to be transplanted, become part of the life we call our father, mother, sister, brother, daughter or son. My belief is based on the life I have seen and observed as a scientist.
Life can and does at times extinguish itself like a match that prematurely goes out.
Some diseases for no apparent reason cause the body to self destruct. Here in can be seen a beautiful and yet powerful attribute of our spirit or life force has. Patients with the best chances fail and those with the worse prognosis survive. Anecdotal reports of the elderly in agrarian Russia showed death rates declined prior to and increased after harvest. This life force is indeed powerful…that is if we choose to use it. As a nurse this I have seen first hand with my patients and I believe.
One evening a patient on another floor from where I was working requested that I see her. Like the many before, she thanked me for my care on her previous hospital stay. Unlike the others, she was also saying good bye. She indicated she was going to be leaving.
A physical assessment was started along with the assurance she wasn’t dieing. However to my horror she was. She had an awareness that her life force was slowly starting to become that flicker and was soon going out. She was dying right there in front of my eyes, in my hands. She knew it. Now I did too.
A call for assistance resulted in the night shift nurses going to work to keep that flame of life burning. They cared for her physiological needs. I cared for her spiritual need. Not religiously, rather a scientific psychological empowerment of that force. Asking if there was any job yet to be done, anything to live for, she faintly uttered, “Yes! I want to see my Granddaughter graduate from high school.”
Encouraging her to tap into that force that actuates the mind and body, I suggested she think and see herself in the audience watching that ceremony. “See yourself living, see your self there,” was the fuel to keep that flame from becoming a flicker and going out.
With death threatening, emergency surgery sealed her fate.
Commendation for observing the unusual life threatening condition and saving her life came from the surgeon the next day. Later, the daughter, a bed side witness, came up hugging me, crying, and thanking me for saving her mom’s life.
Yet who really was it that saved her. The nurses who, with the precision of a pro-sports team went into action? The skilled surgical staff? Should Mrs. Sereno, My Orthopedic Instructor in nursing school who told us, if we forgot everything else that she taught, remember this one unusual, rare, and sometimes difficult to recognize syndrome.
And what about the patient, or rather her spirit. Should not some credit go to that life force that was her.
Her life force, her spirit, kept the flame burning long enough for her physical needs to be met by the health care team. Clinically speaking, she was in a condition that was not compatible with life. That this is possible, in spite of scientific data that suggests otherwise, tells me that there is a power beyond what humans can study or measure.
Was this anything more than the life force or spirit helping to continue in possession of one of its most precious possessions, its ability to be? What things any of us can accomplish, be they great or small, if even maintaining our own existence, is because of this remarkable power.
This power or force that actuates our mind and body, I believe to be the spirit of man. It makes all of us whoever or what ever we are. If we chose to, it is ours to control until we give it up or are too tired to hold on any longer.
Whether helping cheat death a little longer or being there for the few who became the flicker and then no more, I believe the spirit of man is only the life force within us. Yet what a truly marvelous, incredibly powerful, beautiful force it is.
May all of us use that force to create, build and benefit our fellow man.
Jonathan Steele, RN, in addition to being a Nurse is an Artist (Painting in acrylic on canvas, Sculptor in welded and formed steel, and an abstract photographer). Additionally, he is a Free Lance Public Speaker, Inspirational and Persuasive Speaker and Web Master of http:www.speechmastery.com/ where you can also see some of his art throughout the site.
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March 1st, 2009
Our church has charged all parents of young children to read a Bible story each day to our children so reading from my son Noah’s children’s Bible has become a part of our regular bedtime routine. Sometimes I try to hit stories that relate to the current holiday in the Christian calendar and other times we simply pick stories that look interesting to him (there are pictures to help with the choice). There are also stories that he considers to be favorites–Noah and the Ark of course, Zacchaeus (because he loves the song), and Jonah.
I have been very happy with his eager responsiveness to the stories and to reading them. He will even pull out his children’s Bible to share the stories with his stuffed animals–or at least some version that he remembers or can guess from the pictures.
One day when he related the story of Jonah to Fred the green rabbit I was struck by how close to home the story strikes–for Noah, for me, for all of us.
Noah’s version of Jonah:
God told Jonah to go to a special place but Jonah didn’t listen. He went on a boat to another city instead. So God sent a storm and threw Jonah into the water and a giant fish swallowed him up. Jonah was in time out in the fish for three days before God told him he could get out of the fish. Then Jonah went where God told him to go. The End.
Noah to Fred: “You have to listen to God or you’ll get in time out too!”
Noah’s story is simplistic but then so is the essence of Jonah’s story. The moral of the story is simply that we must listen to God.
If only it was as simple as that!
Of course we know that. No matter what our religion or creed we know that we must listen to God. We know we must follow the rules and guidelines that God has set down for us.
Children, like Noah, know they must follow their parents’ rules and dictates or there will be consequences. Often those consequences involve a time-out for Noah so the story of Jonah strikes home with him.
Obviously as he grows older the rules that he must follow will come from many different sources and many will be unspoken. This is why his father and I now set down rules and boundaries for him. Obviously it makes our home life easier if he follows set rules and other rules are necessary for his protection, but even more important we are teaching him to follow the rules that God and society have set down for him.
We learned rules as children for the same reasons but as we grow up and learn to abide by the rules of God and society the punishments we receive change and become more subtle. We no longer are put in time out but instead encounter punishments that more often come in a social or monetary form.
For many of us it becomes increasingly easy to ignore these punishments without the threat of a big whale to swallow us up.
As a Christian, I think God’s message to us is simple. He wants us to love him and to show that love by loving and helping others. All of Jesus’ lessons and teachings can be tied to that simple theme.
It is simple and yet so very hard. What have you done this week to love and honor God? What have you done this week to love and help others?
What worries me is that some people get so wrapped up in following other messages they have gleaned from the Bible that they often overlook or directly contradict these essential truths. While the Bible and its teaching are incredibly complex, one can find the truth by simply studying Jesus’ teachings and actions. There is truth in the simple question–What Would Jesus’ Do?
It is simple and yet so very hard. What have you done this week to love and honor God? What have you done this week to love and help others?
Of course the difficult challenge is the fact that by not doing these things we are just as bad as Jonah. We are not doing what God has told us to do.
Don’t look now, but isn’t that a big whale coming up behind you?
Deanna Mascle is an inspirational freelance writer. You can find more inspiration at Inspiration by Dawggone and her inspirational ezines Words of Inspiration Online and Daily Quote Online.
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February 27th, 2009
How come, as women, we always second-guess ourselves? Are we not confident to choose a mate that has the characteristics of what we yearn for or start and operate a business that we have a passion for? Who can you trust?
For most of my teenage and adult years, I’d sit in front of my computer going over a wish-list of things to accomplish before growing old. Unfortunately, others tried to degrade my dreams, dissolve my opinions, and demean my competency. My self-esteem was not as high as it should be after achieving numerous awards in high school and business school. Despite the ongoing negativity from nay-seers, life goes on. Can you relate? There is always someone lurking in the wind saying - ‘who does she think she is?’
Trusting yourself to others is tough if you grew up around negative individuals. Did you grow up around people that never expressed their thoughts openly and honestly? Again, whom can you really trust?
Trust is a five, letter word but it has many definitions. My definition of trust is: having faith, belief and conviction of someone or something. Trust is a word that carries the weight of a dump truck.
In our personal lives, we trust our husbands, boyfriends, family and friends. We trust that others will love us and treat us with dignity and respect. We trust that they will support and appreciate our thoughts and beliefs regardless of their personal beliefs. We trust them with our hearts and inner thoughts. If that trust were broken, whom would you go to confide your thoughts to?
In our business lives, we build relationships with other entrepreneurs in order to grow our businesses and become successful. We meet people from different cultures and industries that we trust will support us in our endeavors. However, when we mistrust a business partner, we tend to build a wall around ourselves because that hurt is like loosing a good friend.
How many people do you trust with your inner thoughts? Take time out to keep those that are trustworthy in your circle by planning monthly outings, weekly phone chats, or create and deliver handwritten letters. Since it’s hard establishing trust in your life, it would be beneficial to acknowledge why you became trusting in the first place. More importantly, trust in God first and man second.
This article was written by Yasmeen Abdur-Rahman, Lifestyle Entrepreneur Coach and owner of The Brownstone Workshop in Cary, North Carolina. For a ‘free’ consultation, contact Yasmeen at 919-319-6271 or via email mailto:yasmeen033@aol.com and view a detailed description of all services at http://www.thebrownstoneworkshop.bigstep.com.
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